I know, I know... my new year's resolutions are what you might say...a little delayed.
I honestly don't want to be doing this right now. I feel like I have a lot more that I could be doing. How fitting for the article I just read!
I just read "Stupid Things I Do" by Francis Chan, the pastor from Cornerstone Church and president of Eternity Bible College in Simi Valley. It's frighteningly close to what I have been feeling the past week.
In this article, Chan talks about how utterly busy life can get, and how we can just forget to love God. You might say,"Who forgets to love God?" but seriously - I know I'm knee deep in that right now. For some reason, I just can't get motivated like I used to. Chan tells about how he doesn't mean to forget to love God, he just does. We've all had those times where we clearly cannot deny who Jesus is and what he's done for us. Why is it that I do not think of that all the time? I've got class, leadership, deep relationships, other friendships, keeping in shape, eating right, getting enough sleep... I've got so much to do. I'm a failure at most of them too - and yet I can't remember my God when I'm supposed to.
NIV Revelation 2
-"I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who clain to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you. You have forsaken your first love."
Its true. I've forgotten my first love. I can't remember the last time I just sat down and was in awe of my heavenly father. Francis Chan understands this too. This is a terrible problem because I, like he, am a leader. I feel it within me. I cannot deny what has been placed on me. Unfortunately Chan knew exactly what I was thinking when I read his next few comments.
"I FAKE PASSION WELL" There is no doubt that a lot of leaders are good leaders because of their ability to be passionate and deceiving at the same time. Chan asks, " If I asked those closest to you about your relationship with God, what would they say? If i were to ask God the same question, what would he say? If your family, friends, and congregation have better things to say about you than God, its because you give them that impression. We do this because we can. God gifted us with an ability to communicate. Too often we use this ability not to convey who we are but who we want others to think we are".
This is where I stand. I feel like I have been taking on so much stuff - Bible studies, dicipleships, leadership positions, singing in the band, raising money for missions, planning missions, inviting people to come to our weekly worship service.. I THINk that I'm doing it for God, but often times I think its because I feel pressured to do so.. its what I'm "supposed" to do so I do it. You wouldn't say no to any of these things if you were a God-loving Christian. That's just taboo. God knows my heart better than that.
"I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive but you are dead", says Jesus to the church in Sardis (Rev 3:1 NIV). It's how I feel. I feel like a zombie. I have motions, and they may even be motions driven out of me for the greater good, but lately I feel dead. No breath. No life. I have often been forgetting the whole point of why I do the things I do. Sad.
Chan found another papercut to pour lemon juice in. His next paragraph was about how he follows the people he leads. Chan hates to be rejected. So do I. It's difficult. Who wants to be an outsider? Who wants to know that people don't like them, maybe even a lot of people don't like them. Chan says that unfortunately he knows how to keep people from rejecting him and staying at the church, simply by being led by the wrong desires of the people. It's sad but true. I often just say yes to everything in order to make everyone happy. If I say no, I'd be a bad friend, a bad co-worker, a bad.. whatever I am.
"God calls us to give people what they need, based on his word, regardless of whether they stick around. Jesus led. Few followed, but he kept leading.
I can't forget that I do have a purpose. To glorify God - whether or not others like it! I can't glorify him if I'm constantly crabby and worn to the bone. I can't glorify him when ALL of my attention is going to 2094320 different things. I can't glorify him when I'm trying to make myself look like superwoman. I need a change!
In Rev. 3:14-22, Jesus says to the church of Laodicea that he will "spit out" the lukewarm church that they had become. Neither hot or cold are they - just gross middlewater that obviously is not welcomed by God. I don't know about you but I fear being lukewarm now. I think that I am getting there... I don't feel the heat of passion nor the cold of giving in to this world..but i'm getting dangerously close to the middle choice and the last.
In my prayers this week I will definitely be concentrating on renewing my faith, doing what is right, and leading the right way. I make mistakes, God knows that and so do others. I am looking to the future though. What better time than now to be with the one who loves me most? I want my attitude to change towards all the activities I insisted on being a part of this year. This is for my Lord, not me, not anyone else. I can't turn back now, I'm just going to try to keep swimming. I want my first love back.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Tired.
The first day of school wiped me out - I'm a little nervous about the semester as a whole - along with trying to blog everyday.
In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King JR Day, I'm going to post his whole "I Have A Dream" speech..Sadly, I'm not sure I've actually ever sat down and read through the whole thing. Enjoy!
"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!3 "
In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King JR Day, I'm going to post his whole "I Have A Dream" speech..Sadly, I'm not sure I've actually ever sat down and read through the whole thing. Enjoy!
"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!3 "
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A place to call home...
I think I'm an official church hopper. I've hopped around so many places the last two years I don't think I can remember all the places I've been right now. I don't feel too comfortable at the church in my hometown anymore - it doesn't help that I'm away for months at a time and can't participate. I haven't really found a place in CoMo that I feel comfortable at either. For a while I wasn't even sure what I should look for - but at least now I have some idea of what I don't want to be involved in. I know I won't be able to find the perfect church to join but I'd like to find one that is actually traveling toward some sort of Godly goal. I like progress. I like change for the better. Isn't that what Christ did for me?
Today I visited Grace Bible Church here in Columbia. Have to admit - I think I've been avoiding going because of the name. I feel like its very typical - grace bible.. I'm so judgmental. It was a pleasant surprise though - the whole experience. The main reason I decided to try Grace today was because the guy from the orphanage in the Philippines told me that the church was a supporter of the ministry and it would be good for me to visit them. I'm glad I did. I know it's sad but I can't really remember the last time I couldn't stop smiling during the service. Maybe its because I appreciate a good vocabulary (Pastor Mike Burt - he used the word archaic! how sweet is that?), or maybe it was because it was 40 degrees higher today than the past two ice age days we've had here... but I really felt energized the whole time! The music was great, and it was good to be surrounded by friends who I haven't seen for a whole month, but I don't think that had that much to do with how I felt.
Pastor Mike did a wonderful job of giving the sermon. He titled it "Biblical Church Growth" and it's from a series they are doing about the birth of the Church (from Acts 1-12). It's possible that he is one of the most lyrical public speakers I've heard. Not only could I hear the passion in his voice the words just seemed to flow out in perfect harmony. I could tell he loves God... and I definitely felt like God was using him to talk to me. God is humorous sometimes - Pastor Mike talked about The Church Essential (v.41 - what exactly is the church composed of and the point?), The Church Gathered (v.42-43 - fellowship), and The Church Scattered (v. 44-47 - locally and universally joined). (you should look them up yourself :) ) All of them had great points - but I think the one that hit me the most is when he talked about fellowship it the church. He seemed so confident to say that the Church today just doesn't do enough - which I was thinking "uh YEAH"... someone who finally preaches what I'd like to say to every church I've visited! There is a reason I don't feel comfortable or welcome.. its because people don't often get pass "hello, so glad you've came to church today!" I want a place where I'm needed, a place I can participate in, a place to do exactly what the Son asked us to do! I want a place where change is good, where progress is a community thing... I think Pastor Mike wants this too. The man seems to know what he's talking about and well studied.
I heard so many hopeful things today. Pastor Mike left my mind on two quotes from a man named Richard Baxter - a preacher from the 1660's!
Regarding the Church as a real community with real people who want real love to flow among them: "If they can see you love them, you can say anything to them". - Richard Baxter. Coming from a man who lived in the 1660's...thats pretty new age if you ask me. It's so true right? If we have a community that practices the love that our God shows then we should be able to teach or say anything to anyone within that collective. What? Whats that? We could - share? We could not be afraid of saying something to someone else because it wouldn't ruin our... status? I crave a church like that. I have experienced a lot of this at the BSU - why not a church?
Regarding our commission as the Church, Richard Baxter also said this: "I preached as never sure to preach again. And as a dying man to the dying men". If only the determination in this man's words would power me forever.. I'd take over the world (using only my good powers to the advantage of the oppressed, of course). As never sure to preach again... dying man to dying men - so poetic! So reflective of Jesus Christ.
I'd like to try Grace Bible again next sunday. I still have some reservations - I only saw one woman up on stage at a singular moment and I just wonder what they believe on women in leadership... I am always quick to judge but sometimes things seem too good to be true.
Yuck - I must get back to my studies.
Today I visited Grace Bible Church here in Columbia. Have to admit - I think I've been avoiding going because of the name. I feel like its very typical - grace bible.. I'm so judgmental. It was a pleasant surprise though - the whole experience. The main reason I decided to try Grace today was because the guy from the orphanage in the Philippines told me that the church was a supporter of the ministry and it would be good for me to visit them. I'm glad I did. I know it's sad but I can't really remember the last time I couldn't stop smiling during the service. Maybe its because I appreciate a good vocabulary (Pastor Mike Burt - he used the word archaic! how sweet is that?), or maybe it was because it was 40 degrees higher today than the past two ice age days we've had here... but I really felt energized the whole time! The music was great, and it was good to be surrounded by friends who I haven't seen for a whole month, but I don't think that had that much to do with how I felt.
Pastor Mike did a wonderful job of giving the sermon. He titled it "Biblical Church Growth" and it's from a series they are doing about the birth of the Church (from Acts 1-12). It's possible that he is one of the most lyrical public speakers I've heard. Not only could I hear the passion in his voice the words just seemed to flow out in perfect harmony. I could tell he loves God... and I definitely felt like God was using him to talk to me. God is humorous sometimes - Pastor Mike talked about The Church Essential (v.41 - what exactly is the church composed of and the point?), The Church Gathered (v.42-43 - fellowship), and The Church Scattered (v. 44-47 - locally and universally joined). (you should look them up yourself :) ) All of them had great points - but I think the one that hit me the most is when he talked about fellowship it the church. He seemed so confident to say that the Church today just doesn't do enough - which I was thinking "uh YEAH"... someone who finally preaches what I'd like to say to every church I've visited! There is a reason I don't feel comfortable or welcome.. its because people don't often get pass "hello, so glad you've came to church today!" I want a place where I'm needed, a place I can participate in, a place to do exactly what the Son asked us to do! I want a place where change is good, where progress is a community thing... I think Pastor Mike wants this too. The man seems to know what he's talking about and well studied.
I heard so many hopeful things today. Pastor Mike left my mind on two quotes from a man named Richard Baxter - a preacher from the 1660's!
Regarding the Church as a real community with real people who want real love to flow among them: "If they can see you love them, you can say anything to them". - Richard Baxter. Coming from a man who lived in the 1660's...thats pretty new age if you ask me. It's so true right? If we have a community that practices the love that our God shows then we should be able to teach or say anything to anyone within that collective. What? Whats that? We could - share? We could not be afraid of saying something to someone else because it wouldn't ruin our... status? I crave a church like that. I have experienced a lot of this at the BSU - why not a church?
Regarding our commission as the Church, Richard Baxter also said this: "I preached as never sure to preach again. And as a dying man to the dying men". If only the determination in this man's words would power me forever.. I'd take over the world (using only my good powers to the advantage of the oppressed, of course). As never sure to preach again... dying man to dying men - so poetic! So reflective of Jesus Christ.
I'd like to try Grace Bible again next sunday. I still have some reservations - I only saw one woman up on stage at a singular moment and I just wonder what they believe on women in leadership... I am always quick to judge but sometimes things seem too good to be true.
Yuck - I must get back to my studies.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
DEEP FREEZE!
Is MO trying to compensate for global warming or something? I hate this! Windchill of -25 degrees?! I'm moving back to the Philippines...not that I was ever there but I need me some EQUATOR. They even cancelled school for my hometown without snow or rain - just 'cause its sooo cold! Whatever. I'm staying in bed...unless of course, anyone is willing to take me to the beach because I'd be outta bed in a jiff! Hawii, Tahiti, Polynesia... I'll take it.
Mizzou 107 : Colorado 62.. WHAT? I mean, I'm happy but I'm a little surprised. Seems like things are starting to look up for a change.
I had the chance to play my mother's piano again today. I wish that I had one :) I think I don't realize how much I miss it until I get the chance to just sit down and enjoy it. I worked on picking out a couple of my favorite songs and it also gave me some inspiration. I'll have to find a piano to play when I get back to Columbia. I don't think the Clavinova at the BSU is working anymore - and I hate playing on keyboards anyway. I guess I shouldn't be so picky - I mean its not like I have one anyway! There is just nothin like playing on a beautiful baby grand with the gravity of real keys pulling on your fingers. I'm such a dork.
In effort to make my blog less "random" and more "interesting".. I'm looking up interesting facts about today. So, here it goes:
TODAY, WEDNESDAY 14th, IN HISTORY...
- L.L Cool J's Birthday!
- Jason Batemen's Birthday (Arrested Development)
- 1952 NBC's Today show premiered
- 1970 Diana Ross and the Supremes performed their last show together at the Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada
- 1960 in Nurnburg, Germany the clarinet was invented (yay for band geeks like me!)
- 1956 Little Richard releases that wonderful classic.."Tutti Frutti"
-1980 Blues Brothers movie with Dan Akwroyd and John Belushi opens
... Thats all I got. And - I realize, I just tried to make my blog less random with...randomness. I can't ever win.
Mizzou 107 : Colorado 62.. WHAT? I mean, I'm happy but I'm a little surprised. Seems like things are starting to look up for a change.
I had the chance to play my mother's piano again today. I wish that I had one :) I think I don't realize how much I miss it until I get the chance to just sit down and enjoy it. I worked on picking out a couple of my favorite songs and it also gave me some inspiration. I'll have to find a piano to play when I get back to Columbia. I don't think the Clavinova at the BSU is working anymore - and I hate playing on keyboards anyway. I guess I shouldn't be so picky - I mean its not like I have one anyway! There is just nothin like playing on a beautiful baby grand with the gravity of real keys pulling on your fingers. I'm such a dork.
In effort to make my blog less "random" and more "interesting".. I'm looking up interesting facts about today. So, here it goes:
TODAY, WEDNESDAY 14th, IN HISTORY...
- L.L Cool J's Birthday!
- Jason Batemen's Birthday (Arrested Development)
- 1952 NBC's Today show premiered
- 1970 Diana Ross and the Supremes performed their last show together at the Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada
- 1960 in Nurnburg, Germany the clarinet was invented (yay for band geeks like me!)
- 1956 Little Richard releases that wonderful classic.."Tutti Frutti"
-1980 Blues Brothers movie with Dan Akwroyd and John Belushi opens
... Thats all I got. And - I realize, I just tried to make my blog less random with...randomness. I can't ever win.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
World of Warcraft, Tuesday - January 13th
Again, technically its the 14th, but I'm up late like I shouldn't be so this is my January 13th entry.
Apparently this game is pretty addictive...my boyfriend has been playing World of Warcraft since I've been gone on my little trip to KC. In fact, I think thats all he's been doing. It seems pretty cool - you can play with friends, finish quests, and it looks like they just keep adding lands and stuff so its practically endless. It costs 10$ a month so I'm sure the makers are happy with it :). There is a 10 day free trial which is good - but not good if you get addicted 'cause then you WANT to pay the 10$.
My boyfriend just commented on my randomness of blogging - I know I am a random blogger - but just for the time being. Once I get in a study things will be a little more directed than just my arbitrary thoughts.
It's good to be home again...I had tons of fun with the girls but 5 hour car rides kind of make me homesick. It was wonderful to get away to a "neutral" (as my roomie called it) place where life wasn't thrown at you in all different directions. I am so thankful for friends who let me use their home for get away days :). I had the chance to just sit down and play the piano when I got home, so that was nice.
Ugh - something disturbing... I was watching American Idol tonight with my parents and I almost threw up a little. There was this chick who decided it would be just DANDY to wear her too-small bikini to auditions. She sang okay but it was obvious that she knew her body would get her a little further than her voice. Way to broaden the horizon of female stereotypes, jerk. I'm not sure if I should be disgusted by her thought process or just saddened by it. Of course I don't know the whole story, but who told her that giving in to such defiling manners were moral? Who keeps letting her think that success is sexcess? I hate it. I hate that baby girls who are watching this "family" show are going to start performing in their bathing suits because thats how american idols do it. I really like the show, but I'm still disappointed with the content. I know - nothing is perfect, I'm not perfect - supposedly I'm still loved so I probably shouldn't be so "conservative (yeah, because I'm the most conservative person you'll ever meet..) but REALLY there is room for improvement people. It doesn't have to be that way. Maybe she can see that there is a better way to express herself throughout the show - I'm supposed to be more positive right?
I looked up this orphanage in the Philippines today - it seems that they are in need of some help! I e-mailed a coordinator and I can't wait to hear back. The website is www.kidsim.org if you feel like checking it out. The organization actually has 2 orphanages and a school, and they have lots of info about the kids and which ones are up for adoption. The woman who led me to the link said that they could use any type of service, even if its just holding babies in the nursery :). I'm praying that this is the door God has opened for me this summer, I am also praying that I don't screw it up. I have a tendency to do that.
Apparently this game is pretty addictive...my boyfriend has been playing World of Warcraft since I've been gone on my little trip to KC. In fact, I think thats all he's been doing. It seems pretty cool - you can play with friends, finish quests, and it looks like they just keep adding lands and stuff so its practically endless. It costs 10$ a month so I'm sure the makers are happy with it :). There is a 10 day free trial which is good - but not good if you get addicted 'cause then you WANT to pay the 10$.
My boyfriend just commented on my randomness of blogging - I know I am a random blogger - but just for the time being. Once I get in a study things will be a little more directed than just my arbitrary thoughts.
It's good to be home again...I had tons of fun with the girls but 5 hour car rides kind of make me homesick. It was wonderful to get away to a "neutral" (as my roomie called it) place where life wasn't thrown at you in all different directions. I am so thankful for friends who let me use their home for get away days :). I had the chance to just sit down and play the piano when I got home, so that was nice.
Ugh - something disturbing... I was watching American Idol tonight with my parents and I almost threw up a little. There was this chick who decided it would be just DANDY to wear her too-small bikini to auditions. She sang okay but it was obvious that she knew her body would get her a little further than her voice. Way to broaden the horizon of female stereotypes, jerk. I'm not sure if I should be disgusted by her thought process or just saddened by it. Of course I don't know the whole story, but who told her that giving in to such defiling manners were moral? Who keeps letting her think that success is sexcess? I hate it. I hate that baby girls who are watching this "family" show are going to start performing in their bathing suits because thats how american idols do it. I really like the show, but I'm still disappointed with the content. I know - nothing is perfect, I'm not perfect - supposedly I'm still loved so I probably shouldn't be so "conservative (yeah, because I'm the most conservative person you'll ever meet..) but REALLY there is room for improvement people. It doesn't have to be that way. Maybe she can see that there is a better way to express herself throughout the show - I'm supposed to be more positive right?
I looked up this orphanage in the Philippines today - it seems that they are in need of some help! I e-mailed a coordinator and I can't wait to hear back. The website is www.kidsim.org if you feel like checking it out. The organization actually has 2 orphanages and a school, and they have lots of info about the kids and which ones are up for adoption. The woman who led me to the link said that they could use any type of service, even if its just holding babies in the nursery :). I'm praying that this is the door God has opened for me this summer, I am also praying that I don't screw it up. I have a tendency to do that.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I can't handle it...
OK sooooo right now I'm sitting on my friends couch and we're watching The Bachelor. It's cute I guess... but I almost can't handle it. 15 women trying to impress one dude.. I mean its sweet..He's a single dad, attractive, seems sweet... but 15 girls?! Overwhelming. Ew! and he kisses like..ALL of them. No thanks. *sigh* its just too much. It just seems wrong to me lol. I couldn't even handle living in Jones with all the girls and their hairspray. Bridget is getting really sad right now because we told her they hire some actresses to create drama. She told us we ruined her bachelor experience.
I would HATE to have so many cameras too... but the house is gorgeous :)
I just saw the funniest M'M commercial.
*sigh* Not much insight today - I feel a little bland. Did some shopping, did some eating.. did pretty much nothing productive! I think it will be nice to be back in CoMo and have a schedule (I might be taking that back here in a while). It'll be REALLY good to go back and be in a Bible Study. I don't seem to be able to handle it by myself. I guess it's because I still don't know where to start this year. Sleeping in and doing everything I want (which is not a lot) is probably not so beneficial to my disciplines.
Gotta admit, the bachelor has really great date ideas.
I would HATE to have so many cameras too... but the house is gorgeous :)
I just saw the funniest M'M commercial.
*sigh* Not much insight today - I feel a little bland. Did some shopping, did some eating.. did pretty much nothing productive! I think it will be nice to be back in CoMo and have a schedule (I might be taking that back here in a while). It'll be REALLY good to go back and be in a Bible Study. I don't seem to be able to handle it by myself. I guess it's because I still don't know where to start this year. Sleeping in and doing everything I want (which is not a lot) is probably not so beneficial to my disciplines.
Gotta admit, the bachelor has really great date ideas.
January 11th
It’s technically the 12th, but I haven’t gone to bed yet so I’m going to make this my January 11th entry. It’s sort of been a long day… drove to Columbia, repacked, drove to KC, walked around the plaza with the girls, ate dinner, ate ice cream, talked, talked, talked. AND NOW… we’re watching one of my favorite movies – She’s the Man. HILARIOUS. I mean… I’ve probably seen it 15 times by now (and quote it of course)…still funny. If you haven’t seen it – YOU SHOULD. Amanda Bynes – used to not like her – but it’s so great! She ends up dressing up like her brother to be on a soccer team… it’s as terrible as imaginable.
Sebastian! SEBASTIAN!
I’m pretty sure my sister Audrey was going to be named Sebastian if she was a boy… or at least that’s what my dad says. My dad also let me believe (since I was like eight) that he was color blind and yet able to paint these beautiful landscape paintings “just by using the labels on the paint tubes”. Oh… and pork rinds were perfectly healthy. I wonder what other truths my father passed along to me ☺.
Again, I gotta stop watching TV while blogging. Completely distracting. I can’t seem to pass along my lifetime of knowledge. Bro. Brothers. Brethren.
TOMORROW – I think we’re going shopping at ZonaRosa and then my niece’s basketball game. I hardly ever get to see her or her sister…or her mom for that matter. It’s hard – my nieces aren’t much younger than me but they have lived like 5 hours away most of my life. So now that I’m old enough to be more of a real aunt – it kind of just seems too late. I hope not. I do love them.
I can’t focus when it’s really late, and I’m watching something hilarious.
Favorite Quote from this movie : “Be a man! Rub some dirt in it”.
Sebastian! SEBASTIAN!
I’m pretty sure my sister Audrey was going to be named Sebastian if she was a boy… or at least that’s what my dad says. My dad also let me believe (since I was like eight) that he was color blind and yet able to paint these beautiful landscape paintings “just by using the labels on the paint tubes”. Oh… and pork rinds were perfectly healthy. I wonder what other truths my father passed along to me ☺.
Again, I gotta stop watching TV while blogging. Completely distracting. I can’t seem to pass along my lifetime of knowledge. Bro. Brothers. Brethren.
TOMORROW – I think we’re going shopping at ZonaRosa and then my niece’s basketball game. I hardly ever get to see her or her sister…or her mom for that matter. It’s hard – my nieces aren’t much younger than me but they have lived like 5 hours away most of my life. So now that I’m old enough to be more of a real aunt – it kind of just seems too late. I hope not. I do love them.
I can’t focus when it’s really late, and I’m watching something hilarious.
Favorite Quote from this movie : “Be a man! Rub some dirt in it”.
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